And say you never had the bug to write every single day like
the “real” writers. Say maybe you even went a few years without writing any
fiction at all, because you decided you weren’t good enough. If you were good
enough, after all, you’d be finishing stuff. You’d have the instinct and it
would come easily.
Then let’s say something happened. A tragedy, perhaps,
something that seared your soul shut and you had to find a new way to let
things out. And you thought maybe you could write about other things, about
stories or poems, about other people’s tragedies until your pain would
disappear.
And it did. It worked. You rode the wave of a writing high
for a few weeks and words came spurting out of you like bad blood, flushing out
pain and sorrow and leaving you feeling thin, dizzy, and light, but deliciously, ecstatically
happy.
When the last spurts dry onto the page, you feel some life
rushing back into you. You begin to be able to walk straight again. Chin up,
eyes bright. Best of all, you have a purpose for your life. This is what you
were meant to do.
You are a writer!
One problem.
You have no idea what to write. For a while, you fool around
with extending the pain you were writing through, but it falls flat. That’s not
who you are anymore, and even when it is, it’s not really getting you anywhere.
You want to write something amazing, something
to win prizes, earn money, and most importantly, something that you can show to
your girlfriend.
But what?
You sit down in front of the keyboard and peck away at a
novel. You get fifteen thousand words or so, but it’s not good enough. If Tolkien
and Rowling got together and had a baby, and that baby grew up and adopted a cat
named Butcher, and then the cat got sick and started hacking hairballs all over
the living room, then one of those hairballs was your novel.
What to do? Well, you know what to do. It’s rule one.
Write more. Write every day. Write when you don’t feel like
it. Write when you’re short on sleep or when you’re out of coffee or when you
had too much coffee. Write when you’re sad or lonely or angry or happy or lustful
or tired or bored. Get all those things down on paper. Write a million words
and then you’ll be a “real” writer.
But you still don’t know what to write!
First of all, you don’t have writer’s block. That’s not a
thing. That thing is banished from the Scriptorium. Writing is always hard, it’s
never easy, and there’s no excuse for not doing it.
Here are a few suggestions for things to write.
1. Flash Fiction
This is my go-to for dry days. Pick a topic, a funny idea, a
dream, or even a piece of art and sit down to make a brief story out of it. How
brief? Well, that’s up to you. I like to aim for 1800 words. This is one of
those times when outlines are unnecessary. Just start an idea and see where it
takes you.
You are a sculptor in front of a block of marble. Start chipping
away.
For some great examples of Flash Fiction (as well as a
popular place to submit one) check out, http://dailysciencefiction.com
2. Six Word Stories
Six word stories: writer’s sleeping pill.
If you’re interested in becoming a word master, six word
stories are an excellent exercise. Think of a concept and try to condense it to
six words. TRY. Here are some of my favorites.
His flowers were my last goodbye.
Luckily for me, a vegetarian dragon.
This empty page: my only friend.
Temperature rises. Oceans flood. Death awaits.
Wanting to know all, I listen.
3. Backstory Blurbs
If you have a captivating idea for a novel that you can’t
get out of your head, but you can’t seem to get it out of your head, try
writing backstory blurbs.
Get a blank sheet of paper and write the letters A-Z down
one column. Next to each letter, pick a topic relevant to your story. It’s okay
to skip Q and Z and X if you like – there’s not going to be a grade. Each day,
until you think of something else to do, pick one of those topics and expand
it. Pretend you are writing an encyclopedia for your world. If you get all the
way through, start over again. This stuff may be useful someday.
4. Narrative Outlines
Another trick for a gummed-up novel-writing pipe is to clear
the way with a narrative outline. Pick an unlikely character in your story and
tell the whole story from their point of view. Tell it quickly like a bored
conversation or tell it slowly with a lot of detail. Make it their dying
confession or their interview for the local paper. Anything to help you
visualize the story in your head.
5. Bad Poetry
When all else fails, write bad poetry. It’s a required part
of the writing process, so you might as well get it out of the way. I’ll close
with one of my own bad poems, so you don’t feel embarrassed about yours.
::golem
depart::
from earth he came
as strong as steel
but soft as sand
he learned to feel
as strong as steel
but soft as sand
he learned to feel
taught to fight,
he fought to win.
then saw the right
and saw the sin
he fought to win.
then saw the right
and saw the sin
he saw the blood
that dyed the clay
the blameless girl
who died that day
that dyed the clay
the blameless girl
who died that day
with tears of mud
and moans of sod
he fell to earth
he flew to God
and moans of sod
he fell to earth
he flew to God
from earth he came,
no heart or soul,
but learned to feel
and paid the toll
no heart or soul,
but learned to feel
and paid the toll
broke bread with men
who broke his heart
to dust returned
Golem Depart
who broke his heart
to dust returned
Golem Depart
There you go. That was one of mine, written on a day when I
had nothing else to write. Now it’s your turn. Go on, pick one of my crazy
ideas and run with it. Better yet, make it a blog post and link it here for all
of us to enjoy!
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